Magic Lessons
by plethorah
Summary: Emma needs to learn how to use her magic, and needs to talk to Regina about returning with Henry to New York. She'd really like to make the right choices, but when has Emma ever done anything right. Or on time- because soon it's too late. Swan Queen if you squint.


i.

Snow approaches quietly, her belly preceding her into the room, the next Charming child still firmly ensconced inside her, "Emma."

And she doesn't have time for this, doesn't want to take the time to explain everything again, "Snow- It's for the best, I need to learn to control this, and Regina's going to teach me- it's for the best. I'm sure you don't-"

Snow just smiles, that stupid innocent smile that grates on Emma's last nerve, and says calmly, "I think that's a great idea."

Emma blinks her surprise and stands up straight, eyeing her mother thoughtfully, "You, do? What? I thought you'd be against it more than anyone one else?"

Snow, cocks her head thoughtfully, keeping that same stupid beatific grin on her face, "Regina will be a great teacher, but honestly, I think you should break the news to her at the end of your lesson, when she's less likely to-"

"Wait, what?" Emma's confusion is painted across her face, "Break what news?"

"Well, David told me," Now Snow's expression turns from calm acceptance to confusion, and neither woman heard the front door open, or Henry step in, "- about you going back to New York with Henry?"

"We're going back, Mom? But you were talking about enrolling me in school here?" He nearly shouted, and Emma paled slightly, she still wasn't sure what to do about that… situation, but he was letting his feelings known loud and clear, "When did you decide Mom, we-"

Snow leaned forward and whispered so Henry couldn't hear, "I'm sorry about that, Emma, but I think you need to talk to Regina about-."

"I don't actually need to talk to anyone about this." Emma snapped back, face still pale, fuck, now Henry would be talking about this for the next three days and-

"- get back in time for his party." And he had his phone out, and was started to text already.

"She deserves to hear it from you, Emma." Snow hissed into her ear, "At least give her the decency-"

"Decency?" Emma bit back, crowding the shorter woman just a little bit, "You two have been feuding for like fifty fucking years-"

"Forty." Emma rolled her eyes, and barely managed restrained herself from some other caustic remark.

"Whatever, how are you on her side now?" Emma frowned at her Mother, "And to me of all people?"

Snow looked at her in that prim, school teacher way that she had- her eyes big and sad, "I know what it's like to lose a child."

In the background, Henry's chattering like a possessed person. Fuck, Emma does have to tell Regina now, at least give her some kind of preemptory warning, because finding out from Henry, or God forbid Leroy's loud mouth would… suck. Closing her eyes against the vision of her son texting his friends in New York, and her mother standing there with a worried look on her face- There's no easy way out of this, and she's still not sure that taking Henry back to New York and letting him live a normal life isn't the best thing for him. Fuck, how did her life get so complicated?

"I'll talk to her." She says quietly, her eyes still closed, "I'll talk to her about it tonight, tell her it's still on the table."

Snow touched her arm, and even through her leather jacket, and her shirt, and even through all the layers 'armor' she can feel her mother touching her arm, "Emma, it's the right thing to do."

Her eyes are still closed, because if she opens them and sees the "I know what it's like to lose a child." written across her face while rubbing her very obviously pregnant belly, Emma's going to snap and pack Henry into the car that night and drive back to New York and fuck the rest of the bull shit. But she won't, because she's the Savior, and that's not what the Savior does. No, the Savior dons her armor and does battle and then drives off into the sunset, never mind that Henry could have a family here, two moms, grandparents, a slew of people close enough to be cousins. Never mind that her whole life she's wanted what she could have here, Henry and her parents and family.

"I know that." She's quiet for a minute, and pushes on hand through her hair, "It's just not-"

She pauses, and in between what's right and what's wrong is- "It's just hard. You know?"

She finally opens her eyes, and actually looks at Snow, at her mother, "I want to take him back to New York after we kill the Wicked Witch. You know how crazy this all sounds?"

And Snow's back to smiling that stupid, almost vacuous smile of hers and rubbing her distended belly, "It's the right thing to do. She should hear it from you, Emma, after all she did raise him for 10 years."

The rest of that thought chases Emma out the door, down the stairs and into her bug- following her all the way to Mifflin Street. That Emma is no more Henry's mother than Snow is Emma's mother. Because, regardless of how Snow acts, she's more best friend than mother, and regardless of how Emma acts, and no matter what her son things- the truth is, Regina raised him for ten years. All those skinned knees, and sessions learning to do long division, and finding out how much he hates hard-shelled tacos, or that he prefers creamy peanut butter- all those memories… Emma leans her head against the steering wheel for a moment, the image of a crying crying crying Henry at six months stuck in her head. And she wonders, is the 'overwhelmed' feeling hers, or Regina's?

ii.

It's nearly midnight when Emma accidentally blows up a lamp in Regina's study, and the older woman calls a halt to the lesson. Emma stutters out an apology, and then tries to fix her mistake, only to make the bits of broken ceramic glow instead. Regina reaches out a hand, her brown eyes tired, but finally not so angry, not so focused. And then she's rubbing her eyes, tired, like Henry does during late nights, and she wonders how much of Regina is left in Henry, and Henry can't remember her. It isn't until Regina offers her a drink, to relax after all that work that Emma finally, finally works up the courage to talk about it.

"I've been thinking, Regina," she's studying the woman's suddenly tense back through her dress shirt, "About Henry."

There's a slight hitch in her step, but Regina returns and sits in the chair opposite Emma and nods, "Yes, what about him? Has something-"

Emma shakes her head, and takes a sip of 'the best apple cider you've ever tasted' hoping for some liquid courage. Hoping that somewhere between apples and cinnamon and magic, there's something that will give her not the 'right' answer like her mother, and not the 'wrong' answer like her own- but the correct answer.

"He's fine. I just-" The pause is long enough for the silence to become slightly uncomfortable, "I mean- I think-"

And the words are sticking in her throat now, now that she's confronted with a tired and haggard mayor, who's never managed to hide the heartbreak from her eyes, but still gave up her son. Her gift was too good though, too good for Emma to walk away and purposefully throw Henry back into a world of Evil Queens and Wicked Witches and sleeping curses and-

"I just-" Emma's voice is tired, her eyes are tired, her hands are tired- fuck, her hair is tired and she can barely meet Regina's dark gaze, wants to look away because she know's it's going to break her, to know that Henry is never going to see her as anything other than a stranger.

"Oh, just spit it out Ms. Swan." Regina's eyes are already turbulent, as though she already knows what's coming. Her voice quiets though, even as her eyes are painful to look at, "Just… tell me Emma."

And it's the use of her name, the reminder that to Regina, Emma is just 'Emma Swan'- who happens to be the daughter of her former enemy (Emma still hasn't figured that one out yet, are they enemies, frenemies, acquaintances or… something else?) and Regina has always just been 'Regina Mills' to her, it's that reminder that finally frees her tongue.

"I want to take Henry back to New York once we get rid of Zelena." And she tosses her drink back, and then glances at Regina as she stands to refill her own drink. Her words are fast, falling out of her mouth almost before she can get her lips into the proper shape. She wonders how long before Regina hits her with a fireball. "I think it'll be better for him than to stay here and try to-"

"No, I think you're right." Regina's never looked so small to Emma, even as she jerks her head around at the older woman's startling agreement, "It would probably be in my so-"

She bows her head, and Emma sees her shoulders twitch once, and she whispers his name, "Henry's- best interest to return with you."

And Emma can't help it, she drains the glass and refills it before returning to her seat, "There's nothing set in stone but I wanted you to hear it from me first."

Regina is still contemplating her drink, still refusing to meet Emma's eyes, "Thank you for that kindness, Ms. Swan."

"Yeah, well," Emma mutters into her drink, wishing Regina would meet her gaze, maybe she would be able to tell Emma what was wrong, and right and moral and correct. "It's the least I could do Regina, and like I said there's not a definitive answer and-"

Regina finally, finally, finally, looks up and Emma loses her train of thought and nearly forgets to breathe at all the pain and sadness and loss her eyes exude, and there are the corners of her eyes where tears should form is simply… nothing.

"It's alright Ms. Swan," She finishes her drink in 3 large swallows, and then stands up, ever the polite hostess, "I'd like to finish up some work, so if you don't mind, we'll continue this tomorrow night. Perhaps by the end of the week, you'll have enough of a grasp for us to fighting my-"

She stumbles over the word, as though the very concept of the word is alien to her, and she covers it by closing the top-most button on her shirt, "My sister."

And Emma knows a dismissal when she hears one, so she stands up and even with Regina in heels she's just tall enough to look down at the older woman, "Regina, I-"

"Ms. Swan," Regina replies smoothly, while walking calmly to the study door, "I trust you can see yourself out, I need to finish this paperwork and-"

She gestures casually down to her dress slacks and high heels and button down shirt that seems like her everyday uniform 'armor, Emma's mind whispers.', "- I would very much like to change out of my work clothes. "

And Emma would believe it, if it wasn't for the corner of her eyes, where tears should be forming that are empty empty empty. But there's nothing for Emma to do there, no way she can fix this hole she's torn in Regina's heart and soul, there's nothing here but Ms. Swan and Madame Mayor, and there's no 'our son' and no Henry hugging both of them. There's only, Mom and a handshake here. And so Emma gathers up her jacket, wishes she could gather up the heartache she's brought with her, wishes there was an easy answer, a right answer a correct answer- but there's only the answer she's going to end up with, and it's always going to hurt someone.

Regina very very carefully shuts the study door behind Emma, not bothering to listen for the click of the front door before making her way to her desk, stopping only to bring the decanter of cider to the desk. She's on her third glass before she finally picks up the phone and makes the call she's been thinking about.

"Ms. French?" She pauses and takes another sip of cider, "Yes, I'm sorry about the late hour, but I'd like to make some provisions in case someone needs to take over."

She gives a fake laugh, and grins recklessly, "Oh no, Snow can't do it- she'll have her new baby to look after and Ms. Swan- she won't be in town afterwards."

Then she's nodding into the phone, nodding into her fourth cup of cider, nodding to the empty empty empty spot in her eyes where tears should be, "Tonight would be best, we never know when she'll strike. It won't take that long, and tomorrow we can meet after lunch and continue. But best to strike while the anvil's still hot."

Another empty, broken laugh, that sounds something like an Evil Queen, "No, dear, you know how I like to be prepared, and you did such a fine job last time, there's no reason you couldn't do that again."

She listens for a moment, "And we'll get him back, Ms. French, just come over and we'll get started, and if nothing comes of it, then great. But when we need it…"

The pause is rather awkward, and Regina coughs carefully to cover it, "If we need it, it'll be all ready."

And if her eyes are broken, and her heart is barely beating, and her soul is… gaping, well, there's no one there to see it- no one there to care. No one to say, Ma, please or even I hate you! "Yes, Ms. French, just come right in, I'll be in the study, on the right. No, it's completely safe- what's she going to do, kill me?"

There's no one to laugh with her when she hangs up, no Henry to roll his eyes and pretend not to laugh, but she recognizes the fact that the joke wasn't that funny anyway.

iii.

For the next four days, Emma spends her time after dinner with Regina, learning to control her magic, and trying, in vain, to bring up Henry and the return trip to New York, or the lack there of. She wasn't above bribery on Day 2, offering Regina a chance to join them for dinner and ice cream, but the brunette simply looked at her with her empty broken eyes and a tight fractured smile, before saying no. It isn't until the 4th day, when she was later than normal leaving Regina's house that she runs into Belle coming up the walk.

"It's nearly midnight, Belle, what're you doing here?" She was still buzzing a little bit (ok, a lot bit- her magic is so innate, it jumped and jolted in her body for at least an hour after every lesson. Made Henry tell her how her eyes looked extra green and luminescent.) from the magic she'd done, and the 'calming drink' that Regina'd given her. They swapped from cider to something a little more potent, a whiskey which Emma'd given up trying to pronounce after the first glass. She'd tried to talk Regina into, again, spending time with Henry (because, even if it's her last chance, shouldn't she want to spend time with Henry?) and been shot down, like the last three times.

"Oh, Emma," Belle leaned in for a hug, and gave a small grin, "Regina's been asking me to help in the mayor's office, and with your magic lessons taking so long, we've just been working after you leave for an hour or two to get me up to speed, and during my breaks from the shop."

Regina appears at the door, looking pretty blissed out to Emma, but 3 drinks and 3 hours of working with magic would do that, "Ms. French are you- Oh, Ms. Swan, I thought you'd gone already."

And the smile on Regina's face, clearly for Belle, never reaches her eyes, which is still broken with that empty spot in the corners where her tears should be, but she even reaches out a hand when Belle steps up and into the doorway, before nodding blankly, brown eyes empty, at Emma and shutting the door. It isn't until the clouds over head start dripping on her, nearly thirty minutes later, that Emma realizes she's standing in the middle of Regina's front walk, staring at the metal 108 on the door. She takes one step forward, towards the painted door, and then shoves a hand through her hair and turns around. She pushes her hands into the pockets of her red jacket and tucks her chin down and walks home. It's none of her business now, and she knows it.

iv.  
It isn't until Regina steps in front of her for the third time, and takes a chunk of wood to the shoulder that hits her hard enough to knock both her and Emma backwards that Emma realizes what she's doing. The huge splinter of wood is jutting out from her shoulder, easily as big as Emma's hand, and there's darkness gathering at the edges of the wood. Emma scrambles to her knees, and hisses down at Regina, "What are you doing Regina? Why aren't we fighting back?"

Regina's breath is a little troubled, and her eyes slightly unfocused, "I'm just trying to wear her out first, without letting her know just how powerful you are, Ms. Swan."

"This is going to hurt," Emma warns as she puts one hand on Regina's shoulder and the other wraps around the splinter.

"It almost always does, Ms. Swan." Regina's eyes close, just for a few seconds, only to fly open as her body arches out against Emma as the blonde pulls the wood out, followed by a slew of foreign obscenities.

"Are you cursing in Spanish?" Emma's still holding Regina, debating whether she has time to try healing the older woman before Zelena makes it to where they're laying on the ground, "Can I try to heal you?"

"It's not Spanish," Regina's breath is coming in quick gasps, as though it even hurts to breathe, "It's the language of my father."

"Sounds like Spanish to me, I took three years of it in high school," Emma closes her eyes, and imagines Regina's body healing, healing, healed. The familiar almost chill of Regina's magic encompasses her hand as the brunette puts a hand over Emma's, and lends her expertise to the application of magic.

There's only time for a quick pass over, just enough to slow the bleeding, and then Zelena's on them, tossing Emma to the side with a twist of her hand, and then holding Regina up in the air by her throat, much like she did a week earlier. "Oh, little sister, I had hoped for a better fight from you."

And Emma notices Regina's hands go slack and her eyes get wide, and suddenly she's looking at a very different Regina, hanging there in the air- not fighting back, just calmly accepting her sister's abuse. She's hanging mid-air feet about six feet off the ground, still wearing the same stupid black heels, and the same torn blue skirt. Emma catches a slightly panicked look from Regina, and surges up off the concrete, wincing slightly as her knees creak. Regina starts gasping for air, the normal tan of her skin paler than normal, but makes no moves to break Zelena's hold, just hangs there, with the panicked look fading into calmness.

"You won't get off that easily, Regina," Zelena spits out, suddenly angry, "I will destroy you and-"

"Oh shut up." Emma mutters as she plows into Zelena, and ends the physical maneuver with a magical shove that pushes Zelena across the street and into a house. Behind her, Emma hears Regina fall to the ground, hears a slightly muted thunk as her head hits the street.

"Fuck, Regina," She's scrambling over to the older woman, who's now blinking awkwardly, and still gasping for air, "Regina, can we fucking fight back now before she kills you?"

And it only takes the thought a second to strike, and Emma remembers Regina's empty, broken eyes, with no tears, only pain. "Oh, Jesus, fuck, Regina this isn't-"

And then Zelena is on them, and Emma has no chance to say anything else, has no chance to explain, or apologize to Regina for taking away the last bit of hope she had left. There's no time to tell her that Henry still likes to water the plants and (there's no way he got that from Emma, because she can count on her left hand the number of plants that have survived under her control) no time to tell her that he hated the Diablo III ending because he couldn't save Leah from her fate and the millions of other things he got from Regina, and doesn't even know it.

v.

Regina grabs her hand, and grins maniacally before poofing them away- into a nearby barn. She leans in quickly, her voice hoarse, "You'll have about a second, Miss Swan, to hit her before her defenses are back up. So be ready."

Emma wants to stop and talk, wants to explain her thinking and her stupidity, _'I wouldn't really take Henry away, he needs his family. You're part of that_.' but there's no time, here and now- because that's how her life goes. And she's trying to keep Regina from pulling a Rumple, because there's no way she's letting Regina get out of all the uncomfortable conversations with Henry about growing up (and she can't imagine a life anymore, without the brunette snarking over her shoulder about everything, and who knows where _friendship_ will lead. And -) _Jesus, Swan, concentrate on the present and worry about the future when you're fucking sure there will be one._

"Emma!" Regina yells, and Emma points and shoots, points and shoots, **empties **the fucking clip into Zelena because she knows how nervous she is and how aiming for the head is harder than just hitting the target, and she's a good shot, but hasn't practiced since she got here and they use the HK45 up here in Maine and still missed the first three shots but manages to hit the witch with 7 shots.

But Zelena is still standing, and Emma's watching, eyes wide, as green smoke begins curling out of the other woman's body, and then she's aware of Regina grabbing her hand and stepping forward, in front of Emma. She hit that bitch, **seven** **times**, and nothing happened and - she grunts as Regina _pulls_ on her magic, and drops the now empty weapon to the floor. Regina is standing in front of her, blocking her vision of Zelena, one arm facing outwards towards Zelena and one arm trailing back, holding Emma's hand. Emma can see Regina's arm shaking, so she steps up behind the older woman, and transfers her hands to Regina's waist, and has no time to feel embarrassed about the way she's wrapping herself around the other woman's body, no time to be embarrassed about how this magic sharing feels a little bit like laying in bed post-coital, just stares at the now almost blue stream of magic coming from her hands and flowing over Regina's and heading towards Zelena.

"Miss Swan," Regina murmurs, and Emma can barely hear her over Zelena's cursing, "There's going to be a bit of a light show, close your eyes and put your head down."

So she does. She misses the angry light in Zelena's eyes as she curses Regina soundly, "I will destroy you, Regina, you had everything-"

Regina laughs, and Emma feels another _pull_ of magic, and feels Regina's muscles begin shaking, "Sister, dear. You never had a chance."

And then there's nothing. Just a sputtering cursing, loud and angry Zelena, a screech of pain and… nothing.

vi.

Emma is laying on the ground, a warm something on top of her, and she hears Henry yelling. Her ears are still full of screaming, the explosion of the wicked witch evident and the horrible smell and- _Regina_. Her head is aching, but she manages to crawl out from under the- _Jesus_ _fucking_ _Christ_, _Regina_- She'd taken the brunt of the witch's explosion, Emma seems to remember her suddenly shielding Emma with her magic and-

"Mom!" Henry's there, and he shouldn't see Regina like this, shouldn't see the blood trickling from her nose, shouldn't see _ugh _the witch smeared across the barn, turning most of it red and green and burnt.

"Henry," She coughs and tries to crawl towards him, tries to get him to leave- and then turns when she can't decide what to do about Regina _(her body, Regina's body, holy fuck Regina's body_) and then he's hugging her, crying, babbling and holding her.

David appears in the doorway, his eyes sorrowful, and makes his way to Regina. (and her brain can still barely process it. _holy shit, Regina's dead_…) Emma can't help it, she sags back down to the ground and turns to face Regina again, and gathers her in her arms. Henry makes his way around her, and David puts a hand on the kid's shoulder even as he cries harder. Emma's hearing finally clears up, just a little, and her brain is able to process what Henry's saying.

"Mom, momma, I'm sorry." And now her heart is well and truly broken. Not only is Regina gone, but Henry finally, finally remembers. Isn't that the story of Regina's life though, Emma thinks, smoothing the dirty tangled hair back, the thing she wants most always just out of reach until it's too late.

Henry falls to his knees opposite her, tears still flowing, his beautiful brown eyes full of pain, "Mom, Momma-"

Emma turns her face up, and stares blankly at her father, "What do I do, Daddy? How do I fix this? How do I bring her back?"

Charming can't help the tiny, tiny, thrill that goes through him when Emma calls him Daddy- and he steps around Regina, next to Emma and he also kneels down in the dirt and dust and grime, to wrap Emma in a hug, hand automatically sliding along her neck, to bury itself in her hair. "I don't know, Emma, honey, I don't know."

And her head is facing Henry and Regina, and there is blood smeared on Regina's face, but Henry doesn't care. Emma is still sitting on the ground holding Regina, and she's sure at some point her body is just going to cave in on itself, how is she supposed to know how to mother Henry when the woman who taught her all about mothering just… gave up. Henry is sobbing into Regina's shirt, hands bunched on her clothes, and Emma is fairly sure he's kneeling in a muddy composite of dust and blood that will never wash out of those jeans. This will never wash out, this loss will never leave them, the death will never be 'ok'.

"Oh, Emma, I'm sorry, honey." Charming is murmuring at her, into her hair, and Emma is waiting for this great… blankness to leave her. She's waiting to feel, but she wonders how long it will take.

She jerks away when Charming accidentally hits the huge knot on the back of her head, and he says quickly, "Whale should be here in just a few minutes, I called him as soon as I heard the gun shots. We'll get you check out and-"

"She's dead, Daddy." Emma lets looks a quiet, quiet, keening noise, and her heart convulses, "She's dead."

Henry doesn't care, he's kneeling in the grossest things, the knees of his jeans staining slowly red, and he puts one hand on his mother's forehead, the other still bunched in her shirt, holding on holding on. Trying to keep in contact with her despite everything he sees. He leans in and whispers something that Emma can't hear, just sees his lips moving, then he lowers his face to Regina's and presses his lips to her cheek.

yii.

He leans back just slightly, surveying his mother, and Emma realizes what he's trying to do, sees the parallels between his own death and this one, she wants to say something, to stop him before it hurts too much but really, she hopes it works. They both watch Regina, but she still lays there, eyes closed, the trickle of blood from her nose finally stopped, bruises still visible, and prominent bags under her eyes. Emma can't believe she'll never see those eyes open again, will never know that there's someone who understands her, who knows what it's like in a way that Snow and Charming and even Ruby or Belle will never get- about how it feels to be thrown away, second best, full of darkness and pain and wrong decisions.

viii.

And Henry cries even harder, but Emma sees a light shine somewhere deep inside him. It's orange and light and yellow and just a tinge of purple. She hears "_heart of the truest believer"_ and she blinks as he leans forward and kisses Regina again, and then again and then again, and then whispers, "Mom, mom, mom. Come back to us, come back to us. Emma and I need you, Mom."

iix.

It happens so suddenly, the spreading of magic across Regina's body, across Emma's body, across Henry and Charming- Emma is transfixed by the colors racing across Regina, streaming out from Henry- who is staring wide-eyed at his right hand, his left still on Regina's forehead. "Momma?" He sounds like he did when he was six and discovered how it felt to sit on the swing and lean backwards, to feel the world rushing by.

Regina convulses twice, then coughs and twists painfully, before finally opening her eyes, and Emma has never seen a more beautiful sight than Regina's brown eyes staring up at hers, love and Henry's magic shining out, "Henry?" and then the space of a breath between them, "Emma?"

"Kid's got this one, Regina," Emma smiled at her even Charming released her and gaped for a second, before rushing to the door, yelling for Dr. Whale. "I don't have any juice to do anything."

"It- hurts-" Regina's whole body is tense, and Henry is smiling through his tears, and Emma is so glad this magic shit finally worked out in their favor, **finally**. "I can't- move."

Emma lowers her voice, trying to soothe the brunette, "Dr. Whale will be here soon." She gives a slight laugh, then says ruefully, "And hopefully an ambulance for both of us- I'm not sure I can walk."

Regina's eyes flicker over Emma, though her body never moves, "Your jacket is ruined."

Emma's smile is fucking _incandescent_, and she hears Ruby and Whale and Charming heading back into the building, to come and get them, "Maybe my next magic lesson, you can teach me how to fix it."

Regina's eyes close, but she's still breathing, and she knows what another magic lesson means. It means _staying_, and holding on, and taking time, and taking chances- but mostly it means '_family_' and '_holding_ _on_' because that's what they both need. She nods her head, just slightly, but it moves even though her eyes stay closed, "Deal, Miss Swan."


End file.
